she finds her lips motioning in a silent mimicking of his words, head cocking to the side as the ponytail whipped her shoulders from the motion. when she sees him getting prepared, she brings the bat up in posture - moving it in a circle twice before she keeps it firmly in position. “i’ll aim this hit at your face,” she threatens in retaliation, but jenn thought the world of jeff. she wouldn’t purposefully direct her hit at him ( she only did that once! ). dark gaze squints in focus as it comes at her, impatience pumping throughout her body with each beat of her heart. when she determines it close enough, her arms twist in the swing, the loud thump of the bat hitting the ball resonating in her head as a smile stretches on her face in excitement. “yes!”
Jeff could lie and say he wasn’t filled with PRIDE ––– but again, that would have been a lie. Thrusting his fist into the air ( the dorkiest thing he’s done all day ), he whoops gleefully. “ Now that’s what I’m talking about! Look at it go! ” Arm falls down to his side as he traces over the arc the baseball made –– gone now, but emblazoned in his mind. He imagines smoke trailing behind it, the cheer of the fans in their stands, and his blood is fizzy with excitement, and he’s lightheaded and high on the ringing in his ears. “ That’s the kind of badassery that’s going to take us all the way to the top, Jen. ”
weakness fills her lungs when steady digits linger. jeff’s touch is so adoring that she feels thankful for the bed beneath them for keeping trembling legs from buckling. she feels so thankful that she says a silent prayer to her rib cage in the hopes that it will continue to keep her heart (aching&light) from bursting through.
still, he’s quiet and for just a moment she allows her eyes to close - gives herself a chance to bask in his caress, and it draws her nearer. instinctively kira shifts until torsos flush as close as clothes will allow and her legs tangle with his. as soft soles press against muscular calf’s she sets hazels on hues deep enough to dive into, a glint of amusement dancing in her own.
finally, she knows that what there is to see of jeff is all there is to get. there’s no act, no preamble to a heartbreaking reveal. even he knows that she’s waited for one. somehow he’s as kind, as humble as he is brilliant&improbable. the brunette could know every inch of his being and still find herself pondering how on earth he came about. never mind what she did in a past life to deserve him.
❛ the love doctor? ❜ brows furrow, giving way to a chuckle that’s soon muffled by his skin. roseate lips find the corner of his, and she realises that she’s GREEDY - that she wants to kiss every inch. ❛ and here i was thinking that was marvin gaye. ❜
This is the girl Jeff Atkins is going to MARRY. He can tell now –– he smells the flowers in her hair, the sweat on her skin, and the distance between them, a fraction at most, feels like an ocean too far. Even now, holding her in his arms, he worries ( and Jeff never worries ) about the moment when she’ll have to leave, emptying his bed and his heart and his arms. He can never tell her any of this of course… He had to save SOMETHING for their wedding speech, after all.
But, if we’re being striaght-face no-jokes serious here –– Jeff was no man of words. What he felt, he felt wholly, and saying it aloud felt like something that would ruin all of it. At least, that’s what he thought. His feelings were better left to an empty baseball pitch, and to him.
Once, Jeff’s mom asked him what he saw in Kira (she’s a lovely girl, but I just want to know what you see in her exactly). His answer was an explanation that wasn’t really an explanation. All deep sighs and hazy eyes and a GOOFY smile that said it all. What Jeff couldn’t explain was the way the world felt right with Kira beside him. How he could look at other girls, see their beauty, but not care because blue eyes made him want for fields of olives, and falling leaves. His phone was useless until Kira texted, and then it came to life, lighting up and working over time to fill the BLAND minutes between classes with flirty banter that kept him smiling through the day.
He was a boy in love with a girl –– simple. If someone didn’t understand that, Jeff didn’t feel the need to explain.
“ Is that the ain’t no mountain high, guy? ” The name left him drawing blanks. He winced, sitting up, arm still wrapped around Kira, fingertips grazing the dip of her waist without rhyme or reason, pausing to reflect on the graceful dip, the t-shirt bundled up around her stomach. It was like Kira’s body was a map Jeff wanted nothing more than to explore, his fingers coasting along inch by inch of silky skin until he was in too deep ––– his chest felt like it might explode, like waves were crashing over hum, leaving him IMPOSSIBLY breathless. For a moment, he couldn’t remember what they were talking about, staring down at her until his mouth was dry. “ I don’t want this to sound like a dumb line, but Jesus, you’re…” He breathed out like he’d been holding his breath long enough to see stars, “ So perfect. ”
❝ what can i say ? all that softball practice doesn’t earn you nothing to show for it. i’m packing some mega guns. ❞ oh, she knows that’s not quite what she meant, but let her pretend, let the blush stop blooming. ❝ you really think so ? ❞
“ You’re definitely IMPRESSIVE. ”You’d have to be blind not to notice her, is what Jeff doesn’t say. Blind, deaf, and living under a rock to walk the halls of their school and not have Midge Klump on the radar in some form or another. “ Maybe we could knock the ball around together some time? ” Knock the ball around?! JESUS, Atkins, step up your game!
It wasn’t that Jeff was necessarily wrong , it was Sana liked to be RIGHT . If she had gotten that answer , it had to be the CORRECT one . The same went for most of the answers circled on the sheet in front of them .
❝ Uh . . ❞ A pause as chocolate eyes skim over his scratch sheet , eraser giving motion toward the problem .
❝ I divided there , not multiplied , and it should be a six , not a three . ❞ Word problems weren’t exactly Sana’s forte , but she’s ALMOST positive she worked it correctly .
❝ Here- - - You can try with the next one and I might even let you pick the answer this time . ❞ Smile threatens to pull at the corners of her lips as she glances over to Jeff , giving the paper a gentle nudge in his direction .
Jeff’s thumb skims the edge of his chin, skirting his bottom lip as he chews Sana’s explanation over and over. Until it’s dissolved into something he can clearly swallow, clearly understand. “ Well, I hope I don’t disappoint you. ” There’s a smile tugging at his lips, and its easy to let it rest there. But as Jeff takes to the paper, moving numbers, lifting and rearranging them to find an answer to a question that will never SERVE him in real life, Jeff’s smile slides off bit by bit, until his mouth is a circle of concentration, twisted to the side. By the time he’s found the solution, that smile is nowhere to be seen. Then again, it’s easy to find. “ I just want to say right now, that math is hard and complex, and I think I at least deserve some kind of ‘ YOU TRIED ’ sticker if this is wrong. I’m just saying. ”
eyes NARROWED at the atkins boy when addressed. the unexpected kindness towards him, GENUINE concern about his well being. something that many people didn’t express towards him due to RECENT EVENTS. truth be told, he wasn’t okay. his mother, for UNKNOWN reasons, actually decided to show up to the PT meeting. but of course, that meant she had to bring the FLAVOR of the week.
“ WHAT ?? “ brow furrowing before grey hues follow his gaze to the stranger TOWERING over his mother. “ oh RIGHT. yeah, you wanted to go over some notes. “ he shrugged, digits shoved deeper into the pockets of his jacket, SHAKING his head when jeff introduced himself to his mother. justin watched the FAKE smile curl on her lips, putting on a SHOW in front of his classmates. doing anything she could to hide the truth that laid beneath the BROKEN home.
Big brotherly instinct was wound as tight as ace bandages around Jeff. He was a miracle baby, his parents pride and joy, and they frequently told him how much they valued him, how he was enough, always enough for the two of them, but growing up, Jeff still LONGED for a brother. Someone he could coach and protect and guide, someone he could teach to flirt, and ride bikes with down to the convenience store four blocks from their house. Someone to go camping with and play baseball ( or soccer or football or hockey or or or ) with.
But he never had that. Instead he had the boys on his little league team. Instead he had cousins and friends from school –– Jordan & Luis & Chase & Clay –– and Justin. Even Justin. Especially Justin.
“ Yeah, I do. ” He aimed a terse smile at Justin’s mother, making only the FAINTEST attempt to hide the worry clouding his eyesight, and that was for the benefit of his mother, her . “ Come on, man, I’ll try to be fast.” He wouldn’t be FAST. He’d be a geriatric old man shuffling his way across a crosswalk. With a limb.
When they were far enough away, Jeff brought his hand gently to Justin’s shoulder. “ You okay? That seemed INTENSE. ”
“ you clearly don’t know me fully. ” he chuckles nervously, his hands were starting to shake and at the mention of her, he couldn’t stop his butterflies. no he can’t, he didn’t wanna ruin her night, it was fine for him to just watch. “ sh-she’s not my girl… I’m not afraid, just– okay maybe. of rejection. i’m not her type.”
“ Jensen, I’m going to ask you one thing, and I need you to answer seriously. ” Jeff’s hands fold together in front of him. In Jeff-speak that’s a sure-fire sign that the big boy pants are now OFFICIALLY on. Clay had better buckle up.“ What’s the WORST that’ll happen? She says no and… What? It’ll be awkward during graduation? You work with Hannah, right? It’ll only be weird if you let it be… So don’t let it be. ” Jeff goes one step further, driving his point home with FORCE. “ And you know what? She might just say yes. But if you don’t ask her, you’re going to get older, graduate college and be in your mid-thirties and regretting not asking Hannah Baker out. ”
“ Hey, ” approaching with an easy gait –– that of someone who knows the whole world is up ahead, just around the corner if you keep driving driving driving –– Jeff drops into the seat by the pretty girl sitting on her own. Like Cinderella in a pair of jeans, brown waves in place of locks of gold. It’s just FINE, he’s always had a thing for the ordinary, quiet kind of beauty. He hopes she won’t disappear into her pumpkin carriage so soon. “ You look kind of uncomfortable. Everything okay? ” His hand outstretched, an offering of friendship. “ I’m Jeff – you’re Graziella, right? Tony’s little sister? ”
